Lakhasbogkaptaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, impressive goat.

Lakhasbogkaptaf created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakhasbogkaptaf, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lakhasbogkaptaf, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lakhasbogkaptaf's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Lakhasbogkaptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Retreat if four hamsters approach from the north.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not keep three manatees in a large pit.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.