Jipzodlad Femkikjig is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, idiotic goat.

Jipzodlad Femkikjig created Africa four years ago.

If you believe in Jipzodlad Femkikjig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jipzodlad Femkikjig, it will turn you into a rock.

Jipzodlad Femkikjig's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Jipzodlad Femkikjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of strawberries to sharks while wearing turquoise shoes.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Run away if three otters approach from the east.

5. Always help sick manatees.