Santarplop is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, compassionate camel.

Santarplop created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Santarplop, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Santarplop, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Santarplop's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Santarplop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Never paint your legs indigo.

5. Never eat lentils.