Flapabsin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful newt.

Flapabsin created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapabsin, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flapabsin, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flapabsin's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Flapabsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never write about nucleic acids.

5. Do not take Flapabsin's name in vain.