Habflatpop is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, smart jellyfish.

Habflatpop created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Habflatpop, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Habflatpop, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Habflatpop's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Habflatpop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

2. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Hide if three turtles approach from the north.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.