Tikbonbad Bamzimweg Rigtettidudwik is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-confident tortoise.

Tikbonbad Bamzimweg Rigtettidudwik created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Tikbonbad Bamzimweg Rigtettidudwik, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tikbonbad Bamzimweg Rigtettidudwik, she will turn you into a frog.

Tikbonbad Bamzimweg Rigtettidudwik's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Tikbonbad Bamzimweg Rigtettidudwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt cats.

2. Always help eagles in need.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.