Kandottalcub is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, capable lobster.

Kandottalcub created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kandottalcub, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kandottalcub, she will send you a sign.

Kandottalcub's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Kandottalcub's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are not to be trusted.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Kandottalcub in the centre of the settlement.