Wiklimwot is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unjust troll.

Wiklimwot created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiklimwot, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wiklimwot, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wiklimwot's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Wiklimwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

3. Never leap in the presence of tapirs.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.