Damcethab is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, deceitful otter.

Damcethab created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damcethab, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Damcethab, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Damcethab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Damcethab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Damcethab.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near otters while wearing cyan tights and balancing nine nickel spheres on your legs.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not listen to music.