Fomquafpan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, pitiless fox.

Fomquafpan created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomquafpan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fomquafpan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fomquafpan's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fomquafpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Always look after injured eagles.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Never mention ducks.