Canfum Vengutnil is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless hedgehog.

Canfum Vengutnil created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Canfum Vengutnil, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Canfum Vengutnil, he will turn you into a sheep.

Canfum Vengutnil's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Canfum Vengutnil's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.