Jamcisskom is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, amazing elephant.

Jamcisskom created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamcisskom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jamcisskom, he will turn you into a frog.

Jamcisskom's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jamcisskom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not commit murder.