Hamnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, merciless gorilla.

Hamnurl created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamnurl, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hamnurl, she will turn you into a tree.

Hamnurl's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Hamnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near voles.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Feed all hungry sheep.