Jamrathiv Cidrutget is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, stupid armadillo.

Jamrathiv Cidrutget created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamrathiv Cidrutget, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jamrathiv Cidrutget, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jamrathiv Cidrutget's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Jamrathiv Cidrutget's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Jamrathiv Cidrutget loves doves, so they must be respected.