Toftifsom is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, ill-tempered hare.

Toftifsom created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Toftifsom, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Toftifsom, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Toftifsom's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Toftifsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not hurt horses.