Arpdanbad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable butterfly.

Arpdanbad created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpdanbad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arpdanbad, he will think nothing of it.

Arpdanbad's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Arpdanbad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arpdanbad.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.