Panomtdab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, moody dog.

Panomtdab created silver nine million years ago.

If you believe in Panomtdab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Panomtdab, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Panomtdab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Panomtdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Erect seven lead sculptures of Panomtdab on top of important buildings.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Panomtdab loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

5. Always pray immersed in water.