Kadrowmon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, intelligent dog.

Kadrowmon created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadrowmon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kadrowmon, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kadrowmon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kadrowmon's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kadrowmon.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Hide from fawn birds for they are unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.