Jarntomdun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying wombat.

Jarntomdun created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Jarntomdun, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jarntomdun, it will turn you into a dog.

Jarntomdun's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Jarntomdun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Always help sick hamsters.

4. Jarntomdun loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Do not stand on grass.