Garvogfad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, annoying seal.

Garvogfad created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garvogfad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Garvogfad, she will turn you into a duck.

Garvogfad's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Garvogfad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never wear gray corsets.

3. Do not eat parsnips.

4. Garvogfad loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not take Garvogfad's name in vain.