Gephunlad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited dog.

Gephunlad created the Tadpole Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gephunlad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gephunlad, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gephunlad's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gephunlad's Holy Commandments

1. Gephunlad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always help sick goats.

4. Never paint your legs violet.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.