Tofvennarljap is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, weak fox.

Tofvennarljap created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofvennarljap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tofvennarljap, he will remove you from existence.

Tofvennarljap's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tofvennarljap's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tofvennarljap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tofvennarljap.

5. Never feed lots of melons to snails while wearing mauve dresses.