Mabsandhom is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, uncaring turtle.

Mabsandhom created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mabsandhom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mabsandhom, he will throw large rocks at you.

Mabsandhom's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Mabsandhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Mabsandhom's priests.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Seals are not to be trusted.

5. Always wear fawn.