Pod Lopgofpinarp is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humane rat.

Pod Lopgofpinarp created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pod Lopgofpinarp, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pod Lopgofpinarp, it will turn you into a mole.

Pod Lopgofpinarp's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Pod Lopgofpinarp's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Pod Lopgofpinarp.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think ill of sick swans.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.