Sterartlak is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, humorless deer.

Sterartlak created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Sterartlak, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sterartlak, she will remove you from existence.

Sterartlak's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Sterartlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near birds while wearing black skirts and balancing six nickel spheres on your legs.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.