Sassanxin is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, happy lion.

Sassanxin created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sassanxin, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sassanxin, she will destroy your home solar system.

Sassanxin's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Sassanxin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never hurt snails.