Gedstafflap is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, proud spider.

Gedstafflap created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedstafflap, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gedstafflap, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gedstafflap's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gedstafflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tortoises.

2. Never paint your feet brown.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.