Tabrowgem is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unselfish scorpion.

Tabrowgem created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabrowgem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tabrowgem, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tabrowgem's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tabrowgem's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always treat voles with great respect.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always help dolphins.