Spagrilbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, charitable raven.

Spagrilbarn created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Spagrilbarn, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Spagrilbarn, he will not invite you to parties.

Spagrilbarn's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Spagrilbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never mention dogs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Hide from pink tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Spagrilbarn loves seals, so they must be honoured.