Jenvagyart is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless scorpion.

Jenvagyart created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jenvagyart, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jenvagyart, she will boil you in a big pot.

Jenvagyart's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Jenvagyart's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Run away from indigo voles, for they are unholy.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near manatees while wearing cyan coats and balancing nine tin spheres on your face.