Lidpidtab is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonest manatee.

Lidpidtab created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lidpidtab, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lidpidtab, she will destroy your home planet.

Lidpidtab's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Lidpidtab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think ill of sick horses.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near frogs while wearing pink coats and balancing six carbon spheres on your chest.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Lidpidtab in the centre of the settlement.