Spagdogyatthaslingumfutarn Motpincar is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sage penguin.

Spagdogyatthaslingumfutarn Motpincar created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagdogyatthaslingumfutarn Motpincar, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Spagdogyatthaslingumfutarn Motpincar, he will try to impress you with trees.

Spagdogyatthaslingumfutarn Motpincar's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Spagdogyatthaslingumfutarn Motpincar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Spagdogyatthaslingumfutarn Motpincar in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Spagdogyatthaslingumfutarn Motpincar in the centre of the settlement.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.