Safquafzod is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, benevolent armadillo.

Safquafzod created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safquafzod, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Safquafzod, he will turn you into a duck.

Safquafzod's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Safquafzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about dark matter near mites while wearing purple skirts and balancing six lead spheres on your legs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.