Cippanzen is a god.

It takes the form of a small, resourceful lobster.

Cippanzen created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Cippanzen, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cippanzen, it will not invite you to parties.

Cippanzen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Cippanzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Always help pigs in need.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cippanzen.