Tofnulnell is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, contented bear.

Tofnulnell created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Tofnulnell, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tofnulnell, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tofnulnell's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tofnulnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention geese.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.