Yarltipyarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful centaur.

Yarltipyarp created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarltipyarp, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yarltipyarp, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yarltipyarp's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yarltipyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never feed grapes to birds while wearing corsets.

5. Never sing in holy places.