Gomcimjamven Appvogyog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, omniscient naga.

Gomcimjamven Appvogyog created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomcimjamven Appvogyog, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gomcimjamven Appvogyog, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gomcimjamven Appvogyog's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gomcimjamven Appvogyog's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Never talk about dark energy near badgers while wearing blue skirts.

5. Never wear shirts.