Febdavbedjad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered dove.

Febdavbedjad created water two years ago.

If you believe in Febdavbedjad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Febdavbedjad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Febdavbedjad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Febdavbedjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snakes.

2. Never talk about optics near monkeys while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing nine lead spheres on your hands.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Febdavbedjad.

5. Never eat bark.