Gesshotkon is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, boastful meerkat.

Gesshotkon created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gesshotkon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gesshotkon, it will destroy your home solar system.

Gesshotkon's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gesshotkon's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Gesshotkon on top of all buildings.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.