Nuttdossgam is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, sapient meerkat.

Nuttdossgam created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttdossgam, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nuttdossgam, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Nuttdossgam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Nuttdossgam's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Nuttdossgam loves voles, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed turnips to geese while wearing red coats.

4. Always help eagles.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.