Poghaphig Bedkadquim is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, amazing mole.

Poghaphig Bedkadquim created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Poghaphig Bedkadquim, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Poghaphig Bedkadquim, she will destroy your home solar system.

Poghaphig Bedkadquim's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Poghaphig Bedkadquim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never feed lentils to doves while wearing white shirts.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.