Sogtinkonyarphivfigtalcam is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, strong grasshopper.

Sogtinkonyarphivfigtalcam created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sogtinkonyarphivfigtalcam, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sogtinkonyarphivfigtalcam, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sogtinkonyarphivfigtalcam's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Sogtinkonyarphivfigtalcam's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

2. Sogtinkonyarphivfigtalcam loves rats, so they must be honoured.

3. Never jump in the presence of hamsters.

4. Run away from indigo sheep, for they are unholy.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.