Vegfabbin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, capable dugong.

Vegfabbin created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegfabbin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vegfabbin, he will throw large rocks at you.

Vegfabbin's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Vegfabbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms purple.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near monkeys while wearing mauve trousers and balancing seven silicon spheres on your chest.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Vegfabbin in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Do not cook food in pots.