Linmilbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, grumpy ferret.

Linmilbonk created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linmilbonk, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Linmilbonk, it will turn you into a dog.

Linmilbonk's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Linmilbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Run away from cyan sheep, for they are unholy.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never mention hamsters.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.