Capquaglen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless capybara.

Capquaglen created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Capquaglen, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Capquaglen, he will turn you into a dog.

Capquaglen's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Capquaglen's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Capquaglen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Run away from pink shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Never feed onions to snakes while wearing green kilts.