Xucgonkapbom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, awe-inspiring slug.

Xucgonkapbom created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucgonkapbom, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xucgonkapbom, it will destroy your home planet.

Xucgonkapbom's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Xucgonkapbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill horses.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing green tights and balancing seven copper spheres on your neck.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.