Kiptenbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome centaur.

Kiptenbaf created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiptenbaf, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kiptenbaf, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kiptenbaf's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Kiptenbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt badgers.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat green fruit.