Jinsugxuckyaknak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid jellyfish.

Jinsugxuckyaknak created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinsugxuckyaknak, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jinsugxuckyaknak, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jinsugxuckyaknak's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Jinsugxuckyaknak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.