Danlegtarp is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, able eagle.

Danlegtarp created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Danlegtarp, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Danlegtarp, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Danlegtarp's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Danlegtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

5. Run away if four geese approach from the north.