Jipcamwik is a god.

She takes the form of a small, two-faced scorpion.

Jipcamwik created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipcamwik, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jipcamwik, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Jipcamwik's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Jipcamwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Jipcamwik must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Never write about gravity.